Creating Safe Spaces

There are many things a women can do to increase her safety in her own environment. It may not be possible to do everything at once, but safety measures can be added step by step. Here are a few suggestions:

At home

If you are living with your abusive partner/spouse:

• Get your Emergency Escape Plan in order and review it regularly.

• Create a telephone directory with numbers of local police, nearest shelter, assaulted women’s helpline, crisis help line, counsellors, family members, children’s friends, etc.

• Make arrangements with friends or family so you can stay with them if necessary.

• Try to predict the next likely violent episode and make plans for the children to be sent to friends, family, etc. Anticipate his “cycle”, maybe when bills are due, when drinking, on payday.

• Teach the children not to answer the door.

• Teach your children how to use the telephone to contact the police and the fire department.

• Create a code word with your children and/or friends so they can call for help.

• Teach your children how to make a collect call to you and to a special friend in the event that your partner takes the children.

• Plan your emergency exits, teach your children and know them well.

• Teach your children their own Safety Plan.

In the neighbourhood

Talk to your neighbours…

• Tell your neighbours that you would appreciate them calling the police if they hear a fight in your home.

• Tell people who take care of your children which people have permission to pick them up.

• Inform people that your partner no longer resides with you and they should call the police if he is observed near your residence. You may wish to give them a photo and description of him and his car.

• Ask your neighbours to look after your children in an emergency.

• Hide clothing and your Emergency Escape Plan items at a neighbours home.

• Use different grocery stores and shopping malls to conduct your business, and shop at hours that are different than when living with your abusive partner.

• Change your doctor, dentist and other professional services you used with your partner.

• Do not put your name in your apartment building Directory.

If you are not living with your abusive partner/spouse/caregiver:

• Change the lock on the doors and windows.

• Teach your children not to answer the door (you don’t need to answer the door all the time).

• Replace wooden doors with steel/metal doors.

• Install security systems including additional locks, window bars, poles to wedge against doors, an electronic system, etc.

• Install smoke detectors and fire extinguishers for each floor of your home.

• Install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person is coming close to your home.

• Install a peep hole in the door.

• Purchase rope ladders to be used for escape from upper floors.

• Keep your restraining order near you at all times.

• Make sure the school, day care and police have a copy of all court orders including restraining orders, custody and access orders, as well as a picture of the abusive partner.

• Try to predict the next likely violent episode and make plans for the children to be sent to friends, family, etc. Anticipate his cycle, maybe when bills are due, when he is drinking, on payday.

• If you have call display on your phone, be careful how you use it.

On the Internet

E-Mail:

If an abuser has access to your email account, he or she may be able to read your incoming and outgoing mail. If you believe your account is secure, make sure you choose a password he or she will not be able to guess. If an abuser sends you threatening or harassing email messages, they may be printed and saved as evidence of this abuse. Additionally, the messages may constitute a federal offense.

History/Cache File:

If an abuser knows how to read your computer’s history or cache file (automatically saved web pages and graphics), he or she may be able to see information you have viewed recently on the internet. You can clear your history or empty your cache file in your browser’s settings.

This link provides methods to clear your history (or cache) in current major browsers. This link will open in a new window: www.wikihow.com/Clear-Your-Browser’s-Cache